the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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