I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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