i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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