i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
