Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
