what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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