when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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