We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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