I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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