I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
