I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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