just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
