her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
