please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
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