vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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