The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize