It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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