Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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