It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
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i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It's never too late to be topless.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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