i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
