I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
