I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
