Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
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I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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