Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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