Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
