I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
