he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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