Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
