im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
