even my farts smell like vagina
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
