You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I've blown a few things in my day
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
