drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
