your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
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I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
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Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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