Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
