I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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