So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
