I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
