He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
