Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize