best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
