well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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