were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
