I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
