i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
