Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

it's like her boobs came off with her bra

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(787): View more from Puerto Rico

Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt

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(312): View more from Illinois

Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.

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(281): View more from Texas

I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.

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(510): View more from California

Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies

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(312): View more from Illinois

Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.

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