No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
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I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize