Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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