I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
