Mattress luging...It's a long story.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
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