This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
