Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
