We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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