wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
