Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
True strength comes from lack of pants
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize