Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
