wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
