My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
