do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
