So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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