I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
